Trauma Bonding
The process of discovery is a journey of awareness and discipline, and requires a call to action on your part.
Observe… do not engage as a victim.
When one chooses to stay in a victim mentality rather than trying to neutralize the trauma by stepping out of the pain and hurt and looking at the situation from the perspective of the offender, we remain stuck in the low energy of pain and hurt.
Choose to step out. This is a discipline… a call to action.
What is Trauma Bonding?
Trauma bonding is a term that specifically refers to the emotional ties that develop between a victim and perpetrator as they go through cyclical patterns of abuse.
In trauma bonding, the abuser uses cycles of abuse to manipulate the victim, who then becomes dependent on them for affection, validation, and care. There are a number of co-dependent responses that result in this complex and baffling bonding. Trauma bonding can occur in all relationships, from romantic narcissistic ones to family ties and friendships.
When one stays in the victim mentality with blame and accusations, you are reliving the trauma, continuing to lay the tracks of the hurt in your brain to become more deeply embedded and ingrained. The more you rewind the situation, the deeper the grooves become, and the harder it becomes to release it the pain.
When you are accusing and blaming someone else for the hurt or the transgression, you are not taking responsibility for your life, your role in the exchange. You prevent yourself from living in the now… in the present.
When one keeps reliving the trauma of past, you are allowing yourself to bond to the trauma.. to stay stuck. Staying in the energy of victim-hood keeps you connected energetically to that trauma rather than releasing and moving on freely without that cord connection.
Stop rewinding the trauma. Cut the cords.
Yes, we do need to acknowledge and upload the stuck energy of the feeling, processing the hurt and the pain for the moment, but then releasing it back to the ethers with a prayer of letting go.
Giving your emotion a voice.
By allowing, seeing, and acknowledging the emotion to surface, without ignoring or pushing it away, you are giving yourself permission to cry, laugh, or emit whatever emotion surfaces in the moment. You are giving that emotion a voice. Then bless it for what it showed you and learned, and move forward in life, not shackled to this for eternity… to be free!
When we feel, cry, write letters, journal and release to source/god/universe/divine, we are cutting the cords of connection, freeing up the energy to be, to flow, to ying and yang.
Ambivalence, conflict, and stuck energies are released!
Stay well, stay safe, and step into your freedom.
In gratitude,
Sharon